My first kiss went kinda badly. Noncensual, which y'know whatever. Happens. But a piece of his tongue kinda ended up in my mouth. Like... like a chunk. A tongue chunk.
"Its a raccoon." The doctor tapped on the x-ray with a stick.
The paper on the hospital chair was kinda sticky, and it wouldn't really smooth out. I kept pulling the edge, but it just moved the wrinkle.
"A raccoon? Like, the animal?" My dad was kinda confused.
"Must have gotten that young boy's tongue pretty good. We're not really sure how it got in there. Your health seems to be fine for now, but obviously there will be some complications in the future. A nurse will be back in shortly to talk with you about it."
"I'm sorry... You're saying that a living raccoon is physically inside of my daughter's body right now?"
"Yeah I guess. We're kinda stumped to be honest. This is a first."
"That's crazy. It's inside you right now?"
Hanekawa said with her mouth full. The sauce from her sandwich was dripping on my desk, but whatever.
"Yeah." I opened my mouth and after a moment I felt his little head poking through the back of my throat.
"WAHHH, it's so cute! Can I feed him?"
"shuore',' I handed her a carrot, keeping my mouth open. She stuck it into the back of my
throat and I heard it crunching in his teeth. I closed my mouth and felt him go back down.
"Hey how do you know he's a boy? Do raccoons have penises?"
"I dunno I guess I just assumed. He might?"
"I mean- you didn't ask?"
"The raccoon?"
"No, dummy. The doctor."
"OH. No, I guess I didn't really think about it."
"Are you like... gonna be okay?"
"Meh. The nurse said he could live up to five years or something, but I won't last very long after it dies."
"Oh yeesh... How does he pee and poo and stuff?"
"Out my butt I guess?"
"I feel like you probably should have asked more questions. This is like crazy."
"Yeah, minorly."
"Are you gonna like... move to Antarctica or something?"
"No... I don't really know what I'm gonna do yet."
"Can we still be friends?"
"Yeah."
"Cool. Let's get boba after school"
"Yeah I'm down."
Dad got me new pajamas (I like pajamas), but looking in the mirror I kinda can't get over the raccoon's face in the back of my throat. He was kinda cute.
"Hello Mr. Raccoon, do you have a penis little guy?"
"Yes."
I abruptly closed my mouth. After a minute I opened it again.
"If I'm being completely honest, I don't think it's appropriate for a high school girl to ask someone they just met about their genitals."
"Oh I'm really sorry, I didn't realize you could understand me."
"It's okay."
There was kind of an awkward silence with my mouth hung open. "My name's Kaya, it's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too. I don't have a name yet."
"Uh... could I call you Soap?"
"...Yeah. I like that name."
"Soap, you're kinda cute."
"Thank you, I wouldn't know."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know what I look like"
"Look! You look like this!" I pointed to the mirror.
"That's me?"
"Yeah, yeah! You're a raccoon!"
"Interesting. I can understand that you're saying a word that describes other creatures that look like me, but I never really had a word for it."
"I guess I was kind of wondering about that. You seem like you can talk really well, but I know you're not really speaking. I guess our brains kinda work together?
"If I'm being honest, that seems like too much for me to think about. Do you have any more carrots?"
"OH! Yeah sorry, you must be hungry. We got loads of carrots and stuff, did you want some?"
"Yes."
"Hey, do you know where your poop goes?"
"Not really, but I've been pooping for a couple of days."
"Oh okay cool. Hope that's alright then."
by zombi
This story will likely be continued as a series at a later date.