The rain outside made the taste of my coffee extra bitter. It was freezing, but even in the coldest winter, I order frappucinos. Almond milk and strawberry are a bad combination though. Alison slid into the booth across from me.
"They're having a party on Sunday night, can you come?"
I sipped my frappe and watched rainwater flow along the gutter. Before my eyes, an edition 3 McDonalds Batman figurine floated along
the stream towards the storm drain. In a moment, it disappeared forever into the darkness. Oh dear, it seems there's a hole in the roof of this coffee shop and a drop has landed beneath my tired eves.
"The night is always darkest before the dawn" I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
"How many frappucinos is that today?"
"Four. I received my allowance yesterday."
"You never get tired of strawberry?"
"It has the highest quantity of fiber!"
"Why don't you ever use laxatives?"
"To continue and preserve is power."
"How long have you preserved?"
"Four days." We sat in silence for a while looking out the window, watching the water pour down. My frappe was just whip cream now and the straw was too big to get the little chunks
in the bottom of the cup. Seeing them float around in the leftover strawberry juice reminded me
of the Batman figurine again. 'Sometimes to die is a greater joy than going on living.'
"So are you coming?"
"What did she do?"
"She threw the water we used to mop the floor over the stall Yumi was in."
"Scum." Under the table, I pulled out the small notebook I kept in my pocket and wrote down 'don't throw dirty water over the stall in the girl's bathroom'.
"So you'll do the thing?"
"Do you have her full name?"
"Yeah I used last year's yearbook to make a guest list, just in case."
"Mother will drive us."
At the party, I was able to find a nice window to look out of. After sitting down I realized that my fly was wide open. I could see Jackie Chan's face on the underpants I had commissioned online. He was smiling at me through the zipper. Suddenly I forgot all about my undone fly and the warmth of Jackie touched my heart. The weather may not have been sunny, but it was a beautiful day.
"Isn't that Dodonbo? What is he doing here?"
"I think he gave Alison a ride or something."
I was beginning to feel my presence detected. My crush Muki-chan was here, I watched her through the reflection in the window. She had an MMA. fight last weekend and if I looked close enough I could still see blood under her fingernails. You could sharpen a steel blade on those deltoids. The kind of woman who could defend you, make you feel safe.
"Are you ready?"
"If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive-"
"Okay. here is the list. Her name is the third one from the bottom. Everyone just got their cake so do it now."
I took the paper from her and kissed the black ring on my pinky. Under my breath I read the Japanese inscription in the plastic, Ilasutisu'. In a sound softer than a demon's whisper, the name on the list danced off my tongue like poison.
"Sayuri Tanaka."
The day I discovered my powers was the day I crapped my pants in class. The girl next to me was Daniella-chan. She was an angel, the most wondelful, sweetest person I had ever met. Who would never hurt anyone. If only... If only on that day she had plugged her nose and winced in disgust like everyone else. When someone yelled, 'Yo! Who dookied in their pants?' "Daniella Albrecht Simonds" was the name that came out of my mouth. With wet eyes, I plugged my nose and pointed at her. After that, she was called Daniella Shitmmonds. For the past year, since that event, I've had an incredible power to make others dookie their pants.
Standing in the crowd of girls eating around the table, a girl's face twisted and her eyebrows rose in discomfort. Mingling with the sweet scent of pastry and icing, the odor of shit appeared and her cake dropped to the floor. The faces around her curdled like almond milk. I
closed my eyes and rested my forehead on my thumbs. It was done.
Amidst the clamor of the girl running to the bathroom, Alison turned to me and whispered. "You idiot! That's the fourth name on the list! Sayuri is my friend!"
"Even monkeys fall from trees." She smacked me across the head. For a moment, she was deep in thought.
"You 're going to have to read that whole list, even us."
"Why? You know my abilities don't work on myself."
"Fine! Then just me. I don t want Sayuri to be known as someone who shits her pants. This way it will just seem like everyone got sick from the cake."
"But... what about Muki?" Alison considered me for a moment.
"Do vou think she would want to be the only person who didn't get sick? Like that old horny lady, who survived the Titanic?"
"...No." I didn't really understand, but I would make a note in my book later.
"Just shut up and start reading."
Imagining Muki's bulging muscles quivering and the weakness in her eyes as she dookied herself, I began to sob. I fumbled through the list of names with tears running down my cheeks. One by one: the girls dropped to their knees with vacant eyes. As soon as they had figured out the cruel fate that awaited them, panic set in. Every bathroom in the house was occupied. Desperate fists rained down on the weak wooden doors. Alison's expression was cold and hard as steel. I wouldn't see her again for a month after that night. Looking out the window, I never once glanced in Muki's direction. It was the one comfort that I could give. The innocence of a house-full of women was being flushed away. I watched the rain leaving ridges and streaks in the thick mud outside the window and cursed God for giving me this terrible gift.